So I have spent another 5 hrs of my life in the OB’s office this week — 3 hrs on Monday for the non-stress test (baby not stressed, me not stressed before sitting there for 3 hrs, kinda enraged by the end) and 2 hrs Tuesday for my regular check-up. I wish they had snacks, better art or at least mostly nekkid male models to make the visits more interesting, but alas, they have none of the above. Just a lot of knocked-up looking ladies and some bored looking husbands. Sometimes some cute kids though which is always a plus…
The good news is that my doc is very happy with my numbers — blood pressure, weight gain, baby’s growth as measured by the length of belly (after 16 weeks or so the number of inches (or cm I can’t remember which) from the bottom to the top of the bulge is supposed to be the number of weeks you are plus or minus 1), head is still down — and Graglo kicked her when she pushed down to feel the head, indicating response to stimulus, probably gets that from Mike I’m sure — etc all looked good.
They start doing a physical at 37 weeks — which I was on Wednesday according to their files. I asked her to check me anyway since Mike was in Vegas, and if it looked like Graglo was going to pop out momentarily, advanced warning would be good. She said I’m not at all dilated, but that I’m 25% effaced. For those of you who have not just participated in a bunch of birthing classes and who might not know, effacing is the thinning of the cervix, so in order to deliver you need to be dilated to 10 cm and 100% effaced. I asked her if she could predict timing based on my numbers and she said ‘no’. However, at least we know that Graglo’s not going to fall out when I sneeze at this point. Fortunately, the baby stayed in there — hiccuping and fidgeting — until last nite when Mike got back. I figured that Mike was there to start this process, it’s only fair if he’s there to see it through to the ending of the process.
I know Graglo would like to move out of the studio and into a large space at this point, and quite frankly, I’m not opposed to the idea myself what with our constant battles over space, but now is not quite the time yet. A tad more fattening would be good – of Graglo that is, not me.
I’ve also had an epiphany: when Graglo gets the hiccups 4-5 times a day, there is frequently squirming and lots of movement associated with said hiccups. At first I thought the baby was annoyed by the hiccups, which is why it moved at the same time. Now I realize that perhaps Graglo is practicing in-utero beat-boxing — laying down those smooth lines and grooving to the beat. Now I also realize that beat-boxing is not a skill either Mike or I have, but like Mike says, it could be a recessive gene. Maybe my Grandpa Bill would have been the first and finest Polish-American Beat-Boxer if only he’d been given the opportunity. I will watch carefully to see if Graglo seems to keep on honing the skills after joining the rest of us.
And there you have it. The beating (Graglo) and waddling (me) will continue until further notice…
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